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Affectionate Family
"Never say you're sorry, never admit you're wrong." - Great saying in the Vogelcheck family. The Kissing Family is a sketch on Saturday Night Live that revolves around a family, namely, the Vogelchecks, who are very affectionate with each other. Normally the conflict of the skit is that one of their sons has brought home a girlfriend for the first time, and the girlfriend must get used to the family's near-incestuous way of life. The skit always culminates with two of the men in the family making out. Known Family Members: Great-Great Grandfather Gerhart Von-German Von-Vogelcheck, he came all the way from England in the Mayflower to America. He was a poor British immigrant who founded the family's affectionate traditions. When he and the Pilgrims met the Native Americans, they didn't speak the same language. The only way they could communicate was with "sweet little kisses". That is what makes Thanksgiving special for the Vogelchecks. He was Dad Vogelcheck's (Fred Armisen) Great-grandfather. Great-Grandfather Opel Vogelcheck (Will Forte), he came to America with nothing, not even clothes ("totally naked"). He left his job as a foreigner so he could build a better life for himself in America. A country where they wouldn't punish people who were affectionate and "kissy" with their families. For 90 years he worked at a bakery making cookies to support his family. Every night he would come home and smooch his family, so they knew they were loved. He was Dad Vogelcheck's grandfather. Great-Grandma Vogelcheck (Kate McKinnon), she is Dad Vogelcheck's grandmother. She is a little old fashioned and was so shocked to see two men kissing on television she got a heart attack. Grandpa Josef Vogelcheck (Will Forte), when his family came to America they had very little money, they couldn't even afford to go to the bathroom. In Christmas time, the only gifts they could afford were hugs and kisses. He is Dad Vogelcheck's father. Grandma Vogelcheck (Nasim Pedrad), Dad Vogelcheck's mother. Uncle Vlad (Paul Brittain), from Craiova, Romania. He has been married to Elaine for 60 years. He's survived communism, world war and the justified stoning of his daughter, Luschka. Every day before he goes out to the field, he hugs and kisses Elaine, because it means "I love you". Aunt Elaine (Nasim Pedrad), from Craiova, Romania. She has been married to Vlad for 60 years. She's survived communism, world war and the justified stoning of her daughter, Luschka. Luschka, daughter of Uncle Vlad and Aunt Elaine, her stoning was justified by the Romanian court of Law. Dad Vogelcheck (Fred Armisen), the patriarch of the Vogelcheck family. He maintains his family's affectionate traditions and shares them with every guest at his home. He is wed to his first love, Mom Vogelcheck. He is the father of six sons. Mom Vogelcheck (Kristen Wiig), Dad Vogelcheck's wife, she was his first girlfriend and is still lactating. She is a fan of Martha Stewart. She is the mother of six sons. Sons of Mom and Dad Vogelcheck: Dwayne (Bill Hader), the oldest son of the Vogelcheck household. He has held a variety of jobs and commonly works overtime. He teases his brothers whenever they come back home to visit. He is still living with or close to his parents. He has not attended religious services recently. Austin (Paul Rudd), he went to Miami University and he brought his roommate Kevin (Andy Samberg) and later his girlfriend Amanda (Vanessa Bayer) to the Vogelcheck home. Kevin had dinner and stayed overnight at the house while Amanda spent Christmas with the family. Ronny (Bobby Moynihan), he brought his girlfriend Shelley (Jenny Slate) to his Great-grandfather Opel Vogelcheck's funeral. Lonny (James Franco), he went to Florida State University he brought his girlfriend Lindsey (Abby Elliott) for Christmas at the Vogelcheck home. Jacob (Jason Segal), he brought his girlfriend Lucy (Vanessa Bayer) for Thanksgiving at the Vogelcheck home. He used to have braids but cut them off since his credential office didn't approve of his "reggae" look. He was looking forward to moving in with Lucy, a controversial choice in his family, as it was out of wedlock. Brecken (Andy Samberg), he brought his boyfriend Matt (Taran Killam) to the Vogelcheck home to watch the football draft. Category:Sketches